1
00:00:09,620 --> 00:00:11,529
Here you are.

2
00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:14,990
Thanks. We could cut down on the
sandwich fillings. How?

3
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:18,820
Well, instead of cheese and cucumber, we
could leave out the cheese.

4
00:00:19,150 --> 00:00:21,980
Or instead of egg mayonnaise, we could
leave out the egg.

5
00:00:22,450 --> 00:00:25,670
And instead of a BLT, we could leave out
the L.

6
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,090
What do we call it? A BT?

7
00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:31,710
All right, a TB.

8
00:00:31,711 --> 00:00:35,459
Right, that's not any better, but you
see my idea?

9
00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:39,500
Even if we swap the salmon for kitty
cat, they're still going to underbid us.

10
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:43,800
How do they do it at that price? We're
hardly making any profit.

11
00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:45,079
Bulk buying.

12
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,620
What? Well, they're a big firm. They can
dictate the price of things.

13
00:00:48,621 --> 00:00:52,519
It's those despicable practices that's
driving us honest businessmen to the

14
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:53,570
wall.

15
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:02,520
Well, then, I've no more ideas.

16
00:01:02,561 --> 00:01:07,769
Well, I don't see why she's got her
knickers in a twist.

17
00:01:07,770 --> 00:01:10,490
She was an elderly spinster. She took
offence.

18
00:01:10,710 --> 00:01:14,530
All I said was every old boiler needs a
good rodding once in a while.

19
00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:21,090
You didn't have to do the actions and...
Try off it if she was gagging for it.

20
00:01:21,091 --> 00:01:23,149
Usual place, Sean. What do you want?

21
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,260
What, to eat in here every day? A
lobotomy.

22
00:01:25,530 --> 00:01:28,480
No, we stopped doing that Italian food.
There was no demand.

23
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:32,790
Well, anyway, you... What are you doing
in here?

24
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,510
I'm having a cup of tea. What do you
mean?

25
00:01:35,511 --> 00:01:37,199
Well, you can't come in here. It's a
haven.

26
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:41,170
What? A retreat for the weary toilet to
escape his workaday chores and worries.

27
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,790
What do you mean? I don't want the
toilet. I toil.

28
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:48,110
What? Standing around, eating Kit Kats
and shouting, hurry up, Christine.

29
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:49,940
Good work as well, you know.

30
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,560
I didn't mean that. I mean, no offence.

31
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,530
Men's work.

32
00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:56,470
You do understand.

33
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,959
Oh, yes, of course. I was just going to,
no offence, get this spoon nice and hot

34
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,160
and stick it up your nose.

35
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:04,550
Please, you know.

36
00:02:04,551 --> 00:02:07,039
If you keep coming in here, I'll get
embarrassed.

37
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,960
Oh, stop tormenting him.

38
00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:12,819
We were just delivering the cakes and
Sean warned us that we're being underbid

39
00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:15,110
for that big civil service party we're
after.

40
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,270
I had a tip -off.

41
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,090
Told you to be more careful with that
bacon slicer.

42
00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:21,730
Well,

43
00:02:21,731 --> 00:02:25,279
anyway, can't you just underbid, then?
How? We're operating on a bare minimum,

44
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:26,039
as it is.

45
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,720
What's the most expensive thing?

46
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,240
Well, wine, obviously.

47
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,340
Well, there you are, then. Do a white
van job.

48
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,020
Oh, yeah, a white van job.

49
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,340
Brilliant. Yeah, white van job, see?

50
00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:38,959
White van job.

51
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,119
Oh, Gordon Brown, don't you know
anything?

52
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,159
But what is it?

53
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,180
Well, obviously, the first thing you
need is a white van.

54
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:49,299
Which we've got. Yeah, and then you
drive down to the Channel Tunnel, go

55
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:54,220
to Talley, start cheap, fill up with
booze, half the price, back by tea time.

56
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,610
And this is legal?

57
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,010
Yes!

58
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,809
Well, as long as you say it's all for
your own consumption.

59
00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:02,790
My brother's thinking of doing it with a
white removal bag.

60
00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:05,830
It's not for our own consumption.

61
00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:08,310
Yes, but you say it is.

62
00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:11,770
But it isn't. All right, how many
bottles do you need?

63
00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:13,130
I don't know, 150?

64
00:03:13,131 --> 00:03:16,069
Well, how do they know you're not having
a party?

65
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,120
That's true.

66
00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:18,490
But it's not right.

67
00:03:18,890 --> 00:03:20,610
You really need this job, Bill.

68
00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:22,190
Oh, go on. No.

69
00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:23,980
Everybody does it.

70
00:03:24,090 --> 00:03:28,029
Oh, that's your argument, is it?
Everybody does it. Everybody lies about

71
00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:32,210
tax. Everybody parts on double yellow
lines. Everybody buys pirate videos.

72
00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:35,109
Everybody's on every conceivable fiddle
known to man.

73
00:03:35,110 --> 00:03:38,249
Everybody lies about their age. Yes, we
weren't talking about that.

74
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:39,300
Sorry.

75
00:03:39,301 --> 00:03:43,269
Well, I'm not everybody, and I'm not
going to buy cheap wine from France just

76
00:03:43,270 --> 00:03:45,169
because everybody else does. And do you
know why?

77
00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:48,190
Because I want to sleep easy at night.
That's why.

78
00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:51,110
It was just a thought.

79
00:03:56,410 --> 00:04:00,650
I need to get this job.

80
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:03,530
Cheaper in France.

81
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:11,150
Oh, this is ridiculous.

82
00:04:11,910 --> 00:04:14,110
I'm not going to get the wine in France.

83
00:04:14,111 --> 00:04:15,569
Why not?

84
00:04:15,570 --> 00:04:16,620
Because it...

85
00:04:30,030 --> 00:04:31,510
Who are you? Who do you think?

86
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:33,710
Well, I'm dreaming.

87
00:04:33,711 --> 00:04:34,809
You could be anybody.

88
00:04:34,810 --> 00:04:35,860
I'll give you a clue.

89
00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:37,890
Do you recognise this?

90
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,930
I hope that's your tail.

91
00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:43,770
Of course it's my tail.

92
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:49,170
And... Now you're... That's right.

93
00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:53,010
What are you doing here?

94
00:04:53,011 --> 00:04:55,989
Shouldn't you be spreading misery
throughout the land?

95
00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:56,749
That's all right.

96
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:57,910
Jonathan Ross is on.

97
00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:00,620
Anyway... of demons for that sort of
thing.

98
00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:03,450
I've come here to save you a lot of
trouble.

99
00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:06,450
What? You know going to France is a good
idea.

100
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,530
Yes, but it's wrong.

101
00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:10,840
Why is it wrong?

102
00:05:11,650 --> 00:05:13,870
Because it's cheaper there.

103
00:05:13,871 --> 00:05:15,469
Shouldn't be, should it?

104
00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:16,520
No.

105
00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:19,250
But it's putting people out of jobs.

106
00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:22,010
They're too greedy. They deserve it.

107
00:05:22,330 --> 00:05:24,430
Stop it. You're trying to tempt me.

108
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:25,850
But he's right, you know.

109
00:05:27,091 --> 00:05:33,219
Well, I'm just here to help. You can't
say I'm trying to tempt you.

110
00:05:33,220 --> 00:05:34,300
Where are your wings?

111
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:35,970
I'm a dry cleaner.

112
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:40,680
Do you know, if we did this, we'd be
doing good.

113
00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:42,470
How?

114
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:47,019
Those people who underbid us are just
trying to put small caterers like us out

115
00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:47,859
of business.

116
00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:50,720
Then when we are, they'll charge what
they like.

117
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:52,670
Oh, yes.

118
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:56,340
I hadn't thought of that. She's right.
Listen to her. Shut up, you.

119
00:05:56,860 --> 00:06:01,680
And we could charge less than their bid,
which would benefit our customers.

120
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,150
That's true.

121
00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:06,340
So, you're convinced?

122
00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:07,910
I don't know.

123
00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:09,980
I need to think more.

124
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:16,319
Oi! Can you get a move on, my friend?
I've got millions of tortured souls to

125
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,120
poke and I've only got one pitchfork.

126
00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:21,600
She's making her mind up. Well, tell her
to hurry up.

127
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,960
a former director general of the BBC,
into the fiery pits of damnation.

128
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:31,680
Come on, Bill.

129
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:36,300
You know it's the right thing, really.
You know you want to do it.

130
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,340
Look, that's your tail.

131
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,020
There you go.

132
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:09,670
What's that?

133
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,300
Porridge. We lived in a squat. We had
sausage every day.

134
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,660
You also had the same underwear every
day.

135
00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:26,430
Right.

136
00:07:26,431 --> 00:07:28,739
You're not to eat them before one o
'clock.

137
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:29,790
We might get hungry.

138
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,890
Have some porridge.

139
00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:33,400
Are we back by seven o 'clock for tea?

140
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,770
Seven o 'clock?

141
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,640
Dad, what's the French for a quick snog?
You're not going?

142
00:07:38,641 --> 00:07:43,399
Mum, don't you need help with the wine?
Your mother has decreed that we have to

143
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,740
clean out the cellar. What?

144
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,010
It'll be fun.

145
00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:47,680
What is this, Mary Poppins?

146
00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:50,840
Go blimey, Morrie, it's a jolly holiday
and I'm a stoic.

147
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,260
That was worse than he was.

148
00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:56,250
Do you want a van keys, Bill?

149
00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:57,600
Bill?

150
00:07:58,050 --> 00:08:01,360
Declan, could you put the kettle on?
Anything to stop eating this.

151
00:08:02,770 --> 00:08:04,210
It's from social services.

152
00:08:04,211 --> 00:08:07,889
They'll be coming round soon to tell us
if we can have Declan full time. Right.

153
00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:11,609
If is what it says. What if they find
out I'm bringing illegal booze back from

154
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:13,309
France? Well, they'll probably do it
themselves.

155
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:14,360
Everybody does it.

156
00:08:14,730 --> 00:08:17,920
Shall I eat this, or does the cellar
need some holes filling in?

157
00:08:19,070 --> 00:08:21,720
That'll be Rona. You've got to be at the
tunnel by 10 .40.

158
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:25,200
Bonjour. Got your passport?

159
00:08:25,201 --> 00:08:27,719
Yes, you've asked me that a hundred
times. Oh, come on, then.

160
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:28,770
Bye, Ben. Bye.

161
00:08:28,771 --> 00:08:33,538
I'm still not completely sure about
this. What is there to worry about? It's

162
00:08:33,539 --> 00:08:34,589
the Italian job.

163
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,340
All you have to do is say... Say we're
having a party, I know. Yeah, right.

164
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,010
Bye. Bye.

165
00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:44,499
Promise me you'll do something useful
while I'm gone.

166
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:45,550
You can trust us.

167
00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:25,700
We will be embarking on our journey
shortly.

168
00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:30,010
Please switch off your engines and
ensure that all windows are open. Thank

169
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:35,670
Why do we have to wind down the window?

170
00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:38,100
I don't know. Maybe it's the fire
regulator.

171
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,150
Oh, my God! What? We're moving!

172
00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:46,080
Rona, we're on a train. Of course we're
moving.

173
00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:47,620
Oh, yes.

174
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:48,760
I forgot.

175
00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:50,170
Just calm down.

176
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,150
I'm sorry. It's just that... What?

177
00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:57,729
Nothing. You're thinking what I'm
thinking, aren't you?

178
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:58,850
Yes.

179
00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:00,920
What are you thinking?

180
00:10:00,921 --> 00:10:05,359
That because you're not being entirely
honest, something's going to happen to

181
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,319
us.

182
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,259
No, I'm not.

183
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,310
You said you were.

184
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:10,019
But I didn't know what you were
thinking.

185
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,079
What were you thinking?

186
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,630
That because we're doing something
wrong, we're bound to be punished.

187
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,770
That is the same.

188
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:17,840
Oh, yeah, I suppose it is.

189
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,660
Why are you both thinking that?

190
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:24,770
Guilt. I went to a convent school,
remember?

191
00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:26,240
What about you?

192
00:10:26,310 --> 00:10:27,630
I'm just guilty naturally.

193
00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:30,730
I don't know why I'm thinking that.
Stupid, really.

194
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,250
I mean, what can happen?

195
00:10:32,450 --> 00:10:33,710
Oh, no, someone's coming.

196
00:10:34,170 --> 00:10:35,220
Hello. Hi.

197
00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:38,780
Where has she gone?

198
00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:57,320
Well, I do now.

199
00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:01,250
Just stop it. It's completely silly.

200
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:05,440
We haven't even done anything yet and
nothing's going to happen to us. Agreed?

201
00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:07,290
I suppose so.

202
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:08,760
So that's it then.

203
00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:11,440
Let's just forget all about this stupid
guilt thing.

204
00:11:36,239 --> 00:11:38,159
Got my first eagle with his three -iron.

205
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:39,940
What do you do? Burrow to death?

206
00:11:40,571 --> 00:11:42,639
Now what?

207
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,919
Well, now all we have to do is get rid
of all the useless stuff that we don't

208
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:46,970
need anymore.

209
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,460
Now we're in France, where do we go?

210
00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:52,120
I think it might be that way.

211
00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,220
You start.

212
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,550
No, you start. It's mostly your stuff.

213
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:30,700
All right.

214
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,300
How about this?

215
00:12:32,301 --> 00:12:34,089
Well, that's mine.

216
00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:36,589
No, it isn't. You bought it for me.
Yeah, but you never used it and you gave

217
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:36,949
to me.

218
00:12:36,950 --> 00:12:38,089
You never used it either.

219
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:41,030
Yes, I did. When? I used it in Cornwall.
I used it every day.

220
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:42,570
When you did the ironing?

221
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,510
In the sea.

222
00:12:45,511 --> 00:12:48,569
Using it means you get on top of it, not
underneath it.

223
00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:52,070
Yeah, well, the waves aren't any good
here. Yeah, I'm saving this.

224
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:53,840
For when we go to Hawaii.

225
00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:55,430
Well, what else?

226
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:56,790
What about that?

227
00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:58,320
That's my old buckaroo.

228
00:12:58,500 --> 00:12:59,640
We don't use it anymore.

229
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:00,850
Still buck.

230
00:13:00,851 --> 00:13:05,779
Yeah, but we lost all the bits you hang
on it, remember?

231
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:08,430
Nah, we manage without and we improvise,
remember?

232
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,300
See? Can't do that.

233
00:13:19,301 --> 00:13:20,239
Why not?

234
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,900
Well, it's not the same when you hang
old lady's jewellery on it, is it? I

235
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,760
it's supposed to be a rugged miner's
pack mule, not Julian Cleary's camp

236
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,840
We could go to boot sales.

237
00:13:30,841 --> 00:13:33,619
There must be someone who still has all
the rucksacks and things, but the

238
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:34,959
spring's gone on their bucker.

239
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,360
Right. Keep that. Right.

240
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:38,390
How much longer?

241
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:39,750
I know.

242
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:44,359
Why don't we get rid of Jenny's
collection of dead Barbies? Oh, no, not

243
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,680
Barbies. What's that?

244
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,120
Killed them all when we were both kids.

245
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:49,650
See?

246
00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:53,060
Headless Barbie.

247
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:56,910
Shark Attack Barbie.

248
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,230
Electric Chair Barbie.

249
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:09,790
And, uh, Margaret Thatcher Barbie.

250
00:14:10,670 --> 00:14:11,720
Rejoice.

251
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:14,940
I left that in my room once. It's
frightened the life out of me.

252
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,809
We must be able to get rid of all these.
She always hated them. Well, I don't

253
00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:20,820
know. Women are very funny about old
things they like to keep.

254
00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:22,230
Is that why Mum keeps you?

255
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:25,120
Don't say.

256
00:14:26,890 --> 00:14:28,090
What have you got there?

257
00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:29,360
Old photos.

258
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:30,540
Let's have a look.

259
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:32,950
Oh, that's just old family photos.

260
00:14:32,951 --> 00:14:36,049
Cousins and aunts and that. We had to
get our pictures taken with. Any more of

261
00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:38,160
that? Yeah, there's some in the
envelope.

262
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:40,310
At last, something we can get rid of.

263
00:14:40,311 --> 00:14:43,689
That's all our old birthday cards from
years ago.

264
00:14:43,690 --> 00:14:44,740
Great, fantastic.

265
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,650
Now we're really getting somewhere.

266
00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:50,280
When your mum gets back, she'll be over
the moon.

267
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:57,360
Well, come on. 150 francs a dozen.
That's a miracle.

268
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,230
Look, there's another of those little
French dogs.

269
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,300
I didn't think she looked that bad.

270
00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:07,399
I've seen since we've been over here.
They all seem to have them in France.

271
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,159
I wonder why.

272
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,180
They're probably 150 francs a dozen.

273
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:12,240
Look, here's another one.

274
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:13,610
Hello.

275
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:15,710
Careful.

276
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,740
They've still got rabies here, you know.
They're so miserable.

277
00:15:27,150 --> 00:15:29,010
Looks just like one a boy's own. Better.

278
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:32,649
Right, let's load up and it's just time
to get some food before we get the

279
00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:33,489
shuttle back.

280
00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:34,690
Lord, I'm just starving.

281
00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:42,990
Well, that seemed very simple.

282
00:15:42,991 --> 00:15:46,729
You're not quite surprised, actually. I
don't feel guilty at all.

283
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:48,050
Why should we feel guilty?

284
00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:52,149
We shouldn't. There's no reason on earth
why we should feel in the least bit

285
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:53,890
guilty about who's that man. Where?

286
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:02,359
Rona, that is a man from the Salvation
Army. He's got a mini -busload of

287
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:03,500
pensioners back there.

288
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,200
Oh, my goodness.

289
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,870
I thought you said you didn't feel
guilty.

290
00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:08,999
I don't.

291
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:14,040
Good. I just never have been able to say
the wrong thing to a man in a uniform.

292
00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:15,430
Yes, we have noticed.

293
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,460
When they question me,

294
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:22,550
I'd never be able to say we were having
a party if one of them asked us.

295
00:16:22,551 --> 00:16:25,439
Something to do with being taught by
nuns and priests.

296
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,490
Hang on.

297
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:28,260
my side now. Where?

298
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,670
Oh, no. I recognise that outfit.

299
00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:32,310
What? It's the pump.

300
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:34,110
He's taken a job with customers.

301
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:41,069
Well, you were the one who wanted to do
this. I can't help it. I just can't tell

302
00:16:41,070 --> 00:16:43,190
lies. You say, calm down. Good
afternoon.

303
00:16:44,930 --> 00:16:46,570
Sorry. Did I startle you?

304
00:16:46,810 --> 00:16:47,860
No, not at all.

305
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,410
Do you want to look inside?

306
00:16:50,930 --> 00:16:52,130
Is this your first trip?

307
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,010
Yes. That won't be necessary.

308
00:16:54,011 --> 00:16:56,669
We like to keep an eye on vehicles that
come over again and again.

309
00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:57,870
We've never been before.

310
00:16:58,090 --> 00:16:59,350
What are you looking for?

311
00:16:59,590 --> 00:17:00,850
Illegal asylum seekers?

312
00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:03,810
Yes. Then there's the joker who brings
in animals.

313
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,320
Animals? Yeah.

314
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:06,659
Stupid idea.

315
00:17:06,869 --> 00:17:11,710
One gets free, bites someone, passes on
rabies, somebody dies.

316
00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:15,300
You're looking at a prison sentence for
one moment of stupidity.

317
00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:18,170
Terrible. Yeah. People are stupid.

318
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,329
Well, let's get up.

319
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:30,080
Would you be all right?

320
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:34,739
Ladies and gentlemen, in five minutes,
we will be arriving at our terminal in

321
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:35,790
the United Kingdom.

322
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:40,699
Please return to your vehicles in good
time and await disembarkation, making

323
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:43,820
sure all windows remain open until you
have left the train.

324
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,090
Thank you.

325
00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:47,980
Still hungry?

326
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:52,200
You can't be. You had that whole
handbaguette in the car park.

327
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:54,760
Something happened to it.

328
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:57,950
Rona?

329
00:17:59,470 --> 00:18:00,520
It was so sweet.

330
00:18:02,090 --> 00:18:03,710
It felt terribly thin.

331
00:18:03,711 --> 00:18:04,989
What did?

332
00:18:04,990 --> 00:18:06,040
The little dog.

333
00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:10,669
It came up to the van when you went to
the loo. It must have been hungry. It

334
00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:11,990
absolutely wolfed it down.

335
00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:13,320
Where was its owner?

336
00:18:13,321 --> 00:18:15,189
Oh, I don't know. It didn't have a
collar.

337
00:18:15,190 --> 00:18:19,890
Oh, can't I have some of the cheese we
got? Just a little bit. I'm starving.

338
00:18:20,610 --> 00:18:22,050
Oh, I suppose so.

339
00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:25,720
I'll get it. No, it's all right. I'll
get it. I know just where I put it.

340
00:18:50,161 --> 00:18:51,949
this already?

341
00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:56,449
No. Well, it wasn't like this when I
paid for it. It must have crumbled in

342
00:18:56,450 --> 00:18:57,500
bag.

343
00:18:57,690 --> 00:18:59,590
Why has it got teeth marks?

344
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:05,270
They do look like teeth marks.

345
00:19:05,271 --> 00:19:08,809
I knew we shouldn't have trusted that
man with the moustache.

346
00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,690
He must have witch -cheated on us.

347
00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:15,429
Witch -cheated? Well, what else could it
be? You've been surreptitiously

348
00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:19,349
nibbling it. That hasn't happened. You
must have nibbled it. Why would I nibble

349
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:20,400
it?

350
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,360
Now somebody's been chewing it.

351
00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:24,940
Get another one.

352
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:35,230
Rona?

353
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,240
What? This little dog you fed, what was
it like?

354
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,540
I fed it. I didn't have a date with it.

355
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,360
What breed was it?

356
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:54,800
I don't know. It was one of those
little... What do you call them?

357
00:20:35,169 --> 00:20:37,290
accident. Do you want to tell him? No.

358
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,310
Anyway, it didn't look ill.

359
00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:41,880
Just a bit thin.

360
00:20:42,630 --> 00:20:43,680
French.

361
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:46,680
That'll sound very good in court if it
bites someone.

362
00:20:46,681 --> 00:20:50,409
Can you tell him? No. He'll want to look
inside the van then he'll ask what the

363
00:20:50,410 --> 00:20:51,460
booze is for. No.

364
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:55,729
Leave it alone. There's only one thing
to do. What? We'll have to go straight

365
00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:59,220
back through the tunnel to France and
let it out before anyone sees it.

366
00:21:12,110 --> 00:21:13,430
When has that been opened?

367
00:21:43,660 --> 00:21:45,020
And prepare to disembark.

368
00:21:45,021 --> 00:21:49,959
Mesdames et messieurs, nous arriverons �
notre terminal au Royaume -Uni dans

369
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,760
cinq minutes. What are we going to do?

370
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,380
Why didn't you tell me?

371
00:21:54,391 --> 00:21:55,879
Any

372
00:21:55,880 --> 00:22:05,099
more

373
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:05,959
baby clothes?

374
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,010
No, that's it.

375
00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:08,800
Right, well, that's a job well done.

376
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,850
Now we've got room for all this
important stuff.

377
00:22:11,951 --> 00:22:14,809
Shall I start putting it back?

378
00:22:14,810 --> 00:22:16,860
Yeah, we'll take all this down to the
tip.

379
00:22:16,861 --> 00:22:18,189
Where's Declan?

380
00:22:18,190 --> 00:22:19,709
I don't know. He was here a minute ago.

381
00:22:19,710 --> 00:22:21,689
We'll put this in the car. Go and find
him.

382
00:22:21,690 --> 00:22:22,740
Right.

383
00:22:23,150 --> 00:22:24,570
Declan! Get out!

384
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,100
Quickly, so round the other side.

385
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:18,040
Now, when I say, bang as loudly as you
can on your door and I'll open mine.

386
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:19,970
Okay?

387
00:24:47,470 --> 00:24:48,520
What about?

388
00:24:48,850 --> 00:24:49,900
Nothing.

389
00:24:50,470 --> 00:24:51,910
Well, it doesn't look like it.

390
00:24:52,730 --> 00:24:56,450
That's stuff you chucked. Oh, that's
just old family stuff. We don't need

391
00:24:57,130 --> 00:24:59,270
I don't even have a picture of my mum.

392
00:25:00,190 --> 00:25:01,450
They can't find her.

393
00:25:02,270 --> 00:25:03,320
Oh, no.

394
00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:07,390
She couldn't find my dad, whoever he
was.

395
00:25:07,890 --> 00:25:08,940
Wow.

396
00:25:09,390 --> 00:25:10,590
That happens sometimes.

397
00:25:10,950 --> 00:25:12,730
Oh, yeah, that's easy for you to say.

398
00:25:13,630 --> 00:25:14,680
No, it isn't.

399
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:20,770
my mum is either.

400
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,210
What?

401
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,320
Oh, my dad. He was a bit of a wanderer.

402
00:25:26,140 --> 00:25:28,790
Went off with somebody from Canada when
I was so high.

403
00:25:29,540 --> 00:25:32,490
My mum couldn't cope. She'd done me off
with some relatives.

404
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,130
I never saw her again.

405
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,290
Every time a door went out, I used to
think, she's come to see me.

406
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:41,170
But it never was.

407
00:25:42,780 --> 00:25:44,700
After a while, I stopped thinking that.

408
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,560
I started to hate her.

409
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:51,919
When I grew up, I realised I never
really did appreciate the people who did

410
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:52,970
raise me.

411
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,110
I don't know what I'd have done without
them.

412
00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:04,400
It's all right, mate. It's all right.
It's OK.

413
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,340
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

414
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,090
Yeah.

415
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,410
Yeah.

416
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:12,650
Better now?

417
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:14,230
There's one thing.

418
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,940
What? If you throw that stuff away, Bill
will kill you.

419
00:26:18,730 --> 00:26:19,810
You already think so?

420
00:26:20,410 --> 00:26:22,730
She needs to keep it. What are you,
stupid?

421
00:26:23,410 --> 00:26:24,970
Yeah, quite often.

422
00:26:25,390 --> 00:26:27,310
You've got a lot to learn, haven't you?

423
00:26:28,230 --> 00:26:29,280
Probably.

424
00:26:29,450 --> 00:26:31,070
She's always been a sensible one.

425
00:26:39,410 --> 00:26:41,150
I'm getting to quite like it in here.

426
00:26:42,890 --> 00:26:46,310
Well, anyway, everything turned out all
right in the end. How?

427
00:26:46,311 --> 00:26:49,909
We had to buy another ticket, go all the
way back and come all the way back

428
00:26:49,910 --> 00:26:54,110
again. But we'll still be quits then. I
told you everything would be all right.

429
00:26:54,111 --> 00:26:58,089
Then we had to park in that field, throw
away all the cheese and leave the van

430
00:26:58,090 --> 00:27:00,200
open for an hour to get rid of the fox
smell.

431
00:27:00,950 --> 00:27:02,890
That was all right. We had a nice nap.

432
00:27:02,891 --> 00:27:05,409
Yes, but we didn't really go all the
way... Hello again.

433
00:27:05,410 --> 00:27:06,460
Oh, hello.

434
00:27:07,150 --> 00:27:08,530
Didn't I see you earlier on?

435
00:27:09,150 --> 00:27:11,930
Yes, we had to go back for something.

436
00:27:13,050 --> 00:27:14,790
Can I just take a quick look inside?

437
00:27:14,870 --> 00:27:15,920
Of course.

438
00:27:16,970 --> 00:27:18,020
Shut up, just relax.

439
00:27:20,490 --> 00:27:22,910
Nothing much.

440
00:27:23,490 --> 00:27:25,230
Just a few things we got in Calais.

441
00:27:37,470 --> 00:27:38,570
We're having a party.

442
00:27:38,620 --> 00:27:43,170
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